Getting angry sometimes is healthy and normal. When our anger is used in a positive way it can help us to get our voices heard and make changes in our lives for the better. But if it’s hurting you or other people, you can get help and support to stop feeling so angry.
There are many reasons why you might feel angry, like being bullied, hurt, abused, laughed at, embarrassed, ill, frustrated, alone or let down. Or you might not be able to pinpoint a reason.
Some of the harmful ways that people deal with their anger include:
- Shouting at people
- Breaking or throwing things
- Hurting other people physically or emotionally
- Harming themselves
- Losing control
- Winding people up
Although these ways of dealing with our anger and frustration might make us feel better at the time, we may come to regret them, especially if we end up hurting ourselves or other people.
Equally, we might ‘bottle up’ our anger and not express it at all. Although it can seem easier at the time not to say anything, suppressing anger can make us feel much worse later on.
You can learn to cope with anger. Use these tips rather saying or doing something you might regret later.
- Work out what makes you feel angry -your ‘triggers’ – and try to stay away from them.
- Walk away from the situation if you can.
- Stop and take 10 big, slow, deep breaths.
- If you need to hit something, punch a pillow.
- Do things you enjoy to help you relax.
- Exercise – this can really help to release tension.
- Listen to music that calms you down.
- Talk to someone you trust, it can really help to share your problems.
- If you are annoyed with someone, try to talk calmly with them; listen to what they have to say as well as getting your point across.
Schools employ a variety of people to look after your wellbeing. Some of the titles of these staff may vary in your school but you will be able to find out about them from a teacher. Most schools have a nurse who will either have a drop-in clinic or you can make an appointment to see them.
GP – you can make an appointment to visit your doctor or a nurse at the surgery to talk about any worries or concerns you have. The receptionist will probably ask you who the appointment is for and why; this is to make sure that you see the right person at the right time. You don’t have to tell them why – you can just say it’s for something personal if you like.
If you think you’ll might have difficulty discussing your mental health with your GP, you can find advice about how to prepare How to Talk to Your GP About Mental Health
Off the Record – free mental health support for 11-18 year olds. www.otrbristol.org.uk, 0808 808 9120, text 07896880011.
South Gloucestershire Talking Therapies – free support for people aged 16 and over. https://iapt-sglos.awp.nhs.uk/, 0117 378 4270.
Relate Avon – relationship counselling services available for young people aged 10-18. Call 0117 9428444 or visit www.relate-avon.org.uk(charges apply).
ChildLine – free helpline for children and young people to talk about any problem 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 0800 1111 www.childline.org.uk.
The Mix: telephone and email support for under 25’s. Freephone 0808 808 4994 (1pm-11pm) Text 80849 www.themix.org.uk.
Samaritans – if something is troubling you call 116 123 or email email@example.com.
Get self-help – free online cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) resources, www.getselfhelp.co.uk.
Reading Well – Shelf Help – a list of recommended books to help young people deal with a range of issues, available in all libraries.