Getting angry sometimes is healthy and normal. If anger is used in a positive way it can help us to get our voices heard and make changes in our lives for the better. But if it’s hurting you or other people, you can get help and support to stop feeling so angry.
There are many reasons why people might feel angry. Some reasons might include being bullied, hurt, abused, laughed at, embarrassed, ill, frustrated, alone or let down. And sometimes you might not even know why you feel angry or can’t pinpoint a reason.
Some of the harmful ways that people deal with anger include:
- Shouting at people
- Breaking or throwing things
- Hurting other people, physically or emotionally
- Harming themselves
- Losing control
- Winding people up
Although these ways of dealing with anger and frustration might make us feel better at the time, we may come to regret them, especially if we end up hurting ourselves or other people.
Equally, we might ‘bottle up’ our anger and not say or do anything. Although it can seem easier at the time not to say anything, hiding it in this way can make us feel even worse later on.
Anger is something you can learn to cope with. Use these tips rather saying or doing something you might regret later:
- Work out what makes you feel angry – your ‘triggers’ – and try to stay away from them
- Walk away from the situation if you can
- Stop and take 10 big, slow, deep breaths
- If you need to hit something, punch a pillow
- Do things you enjoy to help you relax
- Exercise – this can really help to release tension
- Listen to music that calms you down
- Talk to someone you trust, it can really help to share your problems
- If you are annoyed with someone, try to talk calmly with them; listen to what they have to say as well as telling them how you feel
- Childline is a helpline for children to talk about any problems 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – call free on 0800 1111 or visit childline.org.uk/get-support
- If you are in an emergency and there is a risk to life (yours or someone else’s) call 999
- To report any concerns about the safety or welfare of a child or young person call 01454 866000
Talk to a parent or carer or another adult you trust.
Your school can also help with your wellbeing – just ask a teacher or another member of staff.
There is more information in the ‘Getting help‘ section.